In this article, you can discover…
- Issues that can create conflict between siblings when caring for an aging parent.
- How families can communicate more effectively about a parent’s care.
- How legal guidance and mediation can help reduce conflict.
What Issues Most Commonly Create Conflict Among Siblings When Caring For An Aging Parent?
In most families, money and disagreements about care are what create the greatest amount of conflict. One sibling may think the other sibling is taking advantage of their parent.
Another feels a third sibling isn’t doing enough to help out practically or financially. Finally, it’s not uncommon to have one adult child with whom the parent lives full-time, and another, armchair sibling who visits occasionally to critique how things are being done.
Other times, you may disagree about the type of care that is needed, whether or not your parent can still live alone, or whether the sibling who’s been given power of attorney is truly acting in your parent’s best interests.
How Can Families Communicate More Effectively When They Disagree About A Parent’s Care?
If your family is experiencing high levels of conflict, mediation can be helpful. The reality is that when an aging parent needs care, adult children can become so fixated on their specific concerns or perspectives that it becomes difficult to understand that two people with differing opinions can both be partially right.
Mediation can help you and your family members take a step back, understand your competing concerns more objectively, and compromise to reach realistic goals that will help your parent stay safe. Because at the end of the day, ensuring your parent is well cared-for should be the main goal, not necessarily what each adult child might want or prefer.
Attorney Christine Wells is a respected, knowledgeable family law, estate planning, and guardianship attorney serving Pennsylvania. Since 2013, she has helped clients just like you resolve conflicts over who should care for an aging parent, helping families make decisions that are compassionate, realistic, and in an older parent’s best interests.
Have questions, or in need of legal guidance with adult guardianship matters? Get in touch with The Law and Mediation Offices of Deborah L. Lesko, P.C. for an initial consultation today.
What Happens When Siblings And I Disagree About Who Should Be Our Parent’s Guardian / Power Of Attorney?
With power of attorney, that decision is made by your parent. Your parent, and no one else, appoints the person or persons who are able to act on their financial or medical wishes. When I work with older adults, I make it clear that they need to appoint a person who they feel is capable, trustworthy, and responsible, and not worry about whether their adult children are offended by their choice.
Should you and your siblings disagree about which one of you should be appointed guardian, all adult children have the option to hire their own respective lawyers and plead their case in court as to why they should be appointed.
In some cases, it may be possible for you and a sibling to be co-guardians, but this will only work if both of you are able to work together. If not, the only other option is for the court to appoint a guardian to care for your parent. While a court-appointed guardian may not seem like an ideal choice for many families, it’s far better than your parent potentially receiving poor care because co-guardians can not agree on what is best.
How Can Legal Guidance Or Mediation Actually Reduce Family Conflict?
Mediation can help you better understand your siblings’ competing positions and work together to do what is best for your parent. Few children want a stranger caring for their loved one, and mediation can help you compromise, see things more objectively, and decide how to move forward to best help your parent.
When making these decisions, it’s also best to realistically ask which one of you is going to be able to handle the responsibility of guardianship best. Who has a home available for the parent to live? Who’s available to go to the bank, take your parent to doctor’s appointments, and handle meals?
If one of you lives out of state and truly wants to help but one of you lives much closer, the practicality of who’s in a better position to be a guardian needs to be considered.
At the end of the day, it’s not about who has the most forceful personality, but who’s the most practical choice to handle everything that needs to be handled in a parent’s life.
Still Have Questions? Ready To Get Started?
For more information on adult guardianship and family conflict in Pennsylvania, an initial consultation is your next best step. Get the information and legal answers you are seeking by calling (412) 276-4200 today.
Attorney Christine Wells is a respected, knowledgeable family law, estate planning, and guardianship attorney serving Pennsylvania. Since 2013, she has helped clients just like you resolve conflicts over who should care for an aging parent, helping families make decisions that are compassionate, realistic, and in an older parent’s best interests.
Have questions, or in need of legal guidance with adult guardianship matters? Get in touch with The Law and Mediation Offices of Deborah L. Lesko, P.C. for an initial consultation today.
